


Bench breaks

by Radiklement



Category: Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Barret the cockblock, Budding Love, Cloti - Freeform, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Teasing, awkward love, spoilers for original FFVII game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:14:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24129517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radiklement/pseuds/Radiklement
Summary: Cloud and Tifa catch a few breaks by those vending machines and shared a bench to catch their breath a couple of times. In the first instance, Barret happens to be around, yet they still find a way to communicate some of what they feel. Which is pining and the need for contact. Awkward fluff, guilt-bound Cloud and gentle, patient Tifa.Collection of drabbles on FFVII remake and surely more.
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 181
Kudos: 376





	1. The first break

Cloud was exhausted when he dropped himself on the bench, mindful of holding his sword as he did to avoid destroying the thing, his shoulders sinking slightly even though Tifa and Barrett were there to see. The giant gun-armed man was struggling with the vending machine, wishing to turn off the song running in a loop on it. Tifa stretched her neck, clearly sore, eying the bench and heaving a sigh.

“Do you mind if I join you?” she asked Cloud.

He shook his head, his shoulders squaring as she sat on his right, her long hair brushing against his arm.

“Gosh, my feet are killing me,” she whispered.

Barrett cursed at the vending machine, kicking it hard enough for Cloud to wrap a protective arm around Tifa’s frame, just in case he needed to pull her away from impending danger. It always came so naturally, like second nature, he almost wished the gesture could take place without danger.

“Stupid, stupid, Shinra stuff.” Barret grumbled.

He punched buttons, cans of potion dropping and since the risk seemed minimal once more, Cloud started pulling away, only to feel Tifa’s hand on his. He didn’t look at her, he felt nervous somehow, his throat suddenly parched and tight, breathing in and out as she leaned her head against his shoulder. After the first few seconds of wondering why his body was so tense, he relaxed.

This was nice.

One look at Barret helped him see the man was still focused on the vending machine. The grumbling from his stomach were an indicator of his current quest. Cloud allowed his head to lean over Tifa’s, just for a little bit, he was just tired, he reasoned with himself. She made a tiny, content sound, his heart skipping a beat.

They were both sweaty and too warm and in need of a shower and those thoughts fueled less innocent thoughts that were also nice, far _too_ nice!

Cloud shrugged them off as quickly as possible to focus on the here and now. On what was real and not a fantasy and would surely never lead anywhere since he was what he was, a nervous man with an oversized sword and even larger burdens dragging him back.

_Hollow inside._

“I need to sit down too, move over!” Barrett barked at them, Cloud straightening himself as though his head was on fire, Tifa jumping to her feet.

Barrett shook his head at them, scratching the back of his neck.

“We all need a break, just scoot a little.”

He was so large, he took two third of the bench on his own, Cloud sitting with his arm against the vending machine, feeling awkwardly stuck. His sword was pinned back by Barrett. And Tifa was standing there, even though she’d admitted to be just as tired as them. He bit on the inside of his cheek, catching her red eyes with his, blinking a little too fast. There was a growing warmth in his chest as he tapped his thigh, so lightly his gloves didn’t even make a noise.

“If you don’t mind…” he whispered.

Tifa smiled at him, biting her lower lip but stepped forward, sitting on his leg, her back to the vending machine, her legs between his, soon stabilized by his arm around her. It wasn’t closer then whenever they’d pushed each other out of danger. Not closer then when they’d jumped of that train. But the fact they were not acting on the spur of the moment made it different. One of her hands was on his chest, unknowingly pressing against his old scar. It didn’t hurt. Something deep within ached, but it didn’t hurt, and instead of feeling invaded, Cloud fought the urge to pull her closer.

In the orange sky, the sun burned bright. The devastation surrounding them was infinite, Barrett muttering something about making Shinra pay for it all.

“I can’t believe how hard it is to just reach the upper level, I mean, look where we are! How did this street and vending machine even end up in a place like this intact?”

The large man shuffled to cross on leg, his elbow bumping into Cloud, the mercenary flinching, sensing new bruises over the one he already had. Rolling on concrete and fighting copter-trooper was definitely not fun. The movement had Tifa reached for balance, her hand falling on his thigh, a small gasp making it past her lips. Surely that was too close, too intimate for simple friends.

His gloved hand covered hers, mako-infused eyes looking at her without fear or that runaway need she felt from him whenever they were alone. As though he was just as trapped as her.

“It’s okay,” he mouthed the words, his other hand moving up her spine.

Neither of them was thinking, they were just enjoying the closeness. The sense of being with someone familiar. Entertaining the idea of leaning a little closer. Of erasing the threats and the panic of facing Shinra and the Sephiroth’s illusions and whatever those ghosts were.

She felt safe and so did he. Cloud wondered if it could get even better than this, trying to swallow back down the hope. He had no right to this, had he?

“When are you kids going to just find a room instead of having all this eye-sex?” Barrett said, effectively bursting their bubble, Tifa trying to pull away while Cloud held her steady, afraid she’d fall. His heart was beating madly, and he needed to punch Barrett, preferably with the side of his buster sword.

“We’re not…!”

“If…!”

Barrett chuckled, getting off the bench quite nimbly for someone of his size, his hand in his pocket as he pointed his gun forward.

“We have a girl to save, don’t we?”

Cloud and Tifa were both on their feet at that, grateful for the change in focus. They hurried forward, arms brushing and pulling away too fast. As they halted a few meters further to take cover behind some debris as they scanned the opening path and watched the pattern of more Shinra manufactured bots, Barrett on one side and the pair on the other, Cloud felt Tifa’s hand on his arm. Just a brush, gentle and light.

_We’re okay. Don’t be afraid. Don’t run away on your own._

Was it wishful thinking? On whom part?

“Stay close,” he asked her.

She shuffled closer, her voice making that light hum that sent goosebumps through him. All over.

 _Keep her alive,_ he told himself, for the nth time it seemed. _Just keep her alive until you can think well enough to understand this._

Deep down he knew, but there was a time for everything, and this… this was not it.

 _Still, if we can get away from Barrett the next time we find a bench…_ a little voice whispered to his mind.

His heart fluttered.

To be continued...


	2. Catch and fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short short drabble but I feel like it covers just what I want from this moment of the game. Exploring Cloud's ptsd and there are spoilers if you haven't finished, although I keep them light? I'm totally spoiling the original game though, because that's something I need to do lol Consider yourselves warned.

Seeing her face as he was about to fall to his death was starting to be a little too familiar, Cloud grit his teeth as he willed his arm to pull himself just a little bit higher. Tifa was hanging above him, exerting herself to hold up his weight.

Rufus had fled before he could exact vengeance on the Shinra which had warped his life. He was getting tired of hearing the words _I own you_.

And Sephiroth… He couldn’t shake off his the nervous anxiety running of knowing the man was alive. He remembered the sword going through him. His palms were scarred from gripping it too hard and if it wasn’t for the mako that had come after, he doubted he would have been able to move or…

His entire body seemed ready to surge in pain and he swallowed back a gasp, his throat tight, his voice coming out rough. He’d gotten back onto the platform in a daze, saying Tifa’s name without realizing it, his friend kneeling next to him, panting, worry etched on her beautiful face.

“Cloud, are you… Are you okay?”

He tried to find the usual words. The lie of “I’m fine” that would give her that sad but knowing smile. He hadn’t been fine in years. Years.

Instead of speaking, his head shook slowly, his words garbled.

“You okay?” he asked her, hating the plea in his tone.

She swallowed, her mouth slightly ajar, smoke rising behind her, Cloud realizing she was the one closer to the edge of the platform now. Suddenly, it meant she was in danger, his body moving before he could speak. He pulled her to her feet, fighting against the instinct of picking her off the metal floor, instead dragging her after him as gently but urgently as possible.

Tifa followed, her fear growing and he hated himself for nurturing it, but the fire was spreading and he wouldn’t let her breathe mako fumes if he could help it. He needed her safe even if nowhere was and she shouldn’t be the one saving him, not after all this time…

“Cloud!” she tried again, “talk to me. What’s wrong?”

A shuddering breath was his best answer, his jaw set too tight as he fought against the words, the whirlwind of memories and the vision of a man leaping to his own death. He hadn’t been able to control himself inside the lab, for the shortest time, but he thought those absences were gone. He couldn’t let it happen again.

Tifa held on to his arms, her fingers digging into his sore muscles, her voice shrill. He felt the magic running through her hands and inside him, the cure’s effects instantly relieving the pain from his bruises and cuts. It left so much behind…

“Cloud, please…”

“Tifa.”

He wanted to hold her close. He wanted her so close, he was still falling, he’d already fallen, he wasn’t sure where to throw his thoughts anymore.

_Sephiroth fell, not you._

_But that guy jumped._

_You keep seeing him **and** the others saw him too._

_Someone else fell, you just can’t remember. It was important. It was the one thing you weren’t supposed to forget._

“I’m here,” Tifa assured him, shuffling closer. Just one more step and her forehead would brush against his nose.

She sounded lost, but her words were just what he needed, grounding him as the memories burned. Cloud hugged her tight, hastily taking off his shoulder plate as she gasped in pain at the rough pressure it caused.

“I’m sorry.”

“What? Cloud, it’s…”

_When our home burned, I was there Tifa. I couldn’t speak up because I…_

“We should go after the others…” he managed, his voice sounding normal again.

He just couldn’t let go of her right now and he was afraid it was too tight, or that it was too much. He was so bad at this, but he’d craved it without even knowing. Her.

_You’re toxic. Let her go._

“No, wait a minute. Cloud, you’re… You have a right to be shaken.”

She shifted in his tight embrace, and he wasn’t sure if she was shaking or if he was.

“It’s hard to hug you properly with that sword,” she confessed.

The broken sound escaping his throat brought fresh tears to her eyes that she quickly dried against his shirt, hoping they’d get lost among the blood and burn marks.

“We should get back inside. Tifa…”

He couldn’t apologize again, he needed to get himself together. But her eyes were so soft and warm as she looked at him.

“Just don’t rush, okay?” she insisted.

He nodded weakly, pulling away and feeling her hands following him as though she was just afraid of letting go as he was.

“This was a crazy day so far, right?”

She agreed, blinking a little too fast, her right hand squeezing his arm.

“I won’t be mad to catch some rest soon.”

They parted an instant, Cloud clipping the shoulder protector back in place, exchanging a brief look with Tifa before looking away, reaching out with an open hand. She took it, biting her lower lip, her smile reaching her eyes.

His heart swelled up, nearly pushing out words he was far too embarrassed to say, especially after… whatever that had just happened.

“I’ll make sure you get the nicest bed,” he said instead, hoping the flush on his cheeks didn’t show in the dim light on the balcony.

“If we get beds, I don’t care how nice they are!” she shot back, her laugh making it a little easier to breathe.

This had to be bad. This had to be the worst thing he could do. But he squeezed her hand, trying to control the pressure. She bumped her shoulder against his playfully, effectively getting him to move along, their fingers soon laced together.

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come and wondering if I should immediately move the rating to Explicit because my smut writing is so not tame anymore. Let me know. Next chapter should involve a bench lol


	3. Under the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tifa is tired but wants to stay away from Sector 6. Cloud finds out the vending machine sells tents and gets her one. They end up sharing it for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut in this chapter - I feel like I need to apologize for the absence of smut XD - but inspiration struck without it. Don't fear, things will be spiced up eventually, I just want to stay in absolute fluff territory. Backtracking a little compared to the last chapter, but this is a drabbles collection, so a few will be out of order. I hope you enjoy.

Tifa dropped herself on the bench first, not even dusting it off, heaving a sigh. Cloud made a bee-line for the vending machine, wondering how his sword could feel heavier against his back. Taking up the guys from the gym in another of their crazy workout competition had been a bad idea, especially right after walking out of the arena. But that gave them intel and intel really was key around the slums. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Tifa running her fingers along the edge of her shirt, trying to remove some of the sweat sticking to her. There was no one around and a part of him wished she’d pulled the shirt off at least. Not her sport bra, he wouldn’t even suggest that out loud, yet, now that his thoughts had shifted, he was trying hard not to blink.

He wouldn’t let his imagination take over.

“I’d kill for a shower,” she grunted.

_I’d participate…_

And there it was. Gone. He focused on the vending machine, ordering whatever snacks and cool drinks the thing had. They should have hurried on finding their way up to the plate. To Shinra and Aerith. Barret was growing so restless, he’d given up on them for the night, rushing back to Elmyra’s place and his little Marlene. They had agreed to meet up with the sunrise in Sector 6’s plaza.

“We can book some rooms and…”

_One room would be plenty._

Tifa took the wrapped energy bar he offered her, pulling her legs up to fold them against her chest. He sat down next to her, setting the drinks between them. A very small barrier of cold beers that wouldn’t last them long.

“I’d rather pitch a tent in the park,” she admitted.

The motel’s manager had not even looked at her face when hollering for them to pick a room. Cloud wasn’t sure he’d seen more aggressive promotion anywhere else, and he’d seen the Shinra’s rallies.

Cloud pushed himself to his feet wordlessly, bringing up the vending machine selection again.

“They even have tents in this one…”

“They do?!”

Her excitement brought a light smile to his face, Cloud hoping the tent came with some sort of commodities. Like at least a sleeping bag. He ordered it anyway, pressing the confirmation button and listened to the violent rumbling of the machine dropping a much larger package than usual.

“How is _that_ a tent? Is it for a person?” Tifa mused.

“It’s Shinra manufactured, must be vacuumed-sealed.”

“I guess we really can sleep under the stars then.”

Turning the package around for a label, Cloud wondered if the single tent would be large enough for the two of them. It did include a sleeping bag, but that would definitely be a problem. Tifa shook her head as she saw the worry on his face.

“How about you sit down and eat those snacks? We can think about what we do when both our stomachs are done grumbling.”

He agreed with her, setting the tent down, dropping himself back on the bench. He liked how quiet this spot was. Tifa offered him spiced bread and some meat she’d bought in the stalls lined up the main street of sector 6. They ate in silence, Cloud allowing himself to listen to every tiny sound, focusing on the woman sitting next to him. She was tired and worried, but she seemed to be relaxing with the sun slowly setting, which reassured him more than he could express. Aerith being in the clutches of Shinra’s men was still in the back of his mind, eating him up somehow. But there was nothing they could do today, not until they had a somehow secure way to reach the plate without being seen immediately.

Tifa heaved a sigh.

“Do you think I could convince the guys at the gym to let me take a shower? I really can’t handle this anymore.”

“What?!”

“I can go alone and meet up with you after, I just… I’d really feel better being clean.”

He had to admit, the dark room and small accommodations in sector 7 had pipes smelling like rotten eggs, but his skin was starting to itch in places. Shinra always promised a hot shower even to foot soldiers. Not every day, but at least twice a week. They’d been running around sewers.

“I’ll come with you. I don’t trust this place.”

Tifa nodded, finishing her beer and shaking her head, her neck giving a resounding crack. Cloud downed his own beer, finding himself wishing for one of her drinks. A quiet night at the bar with warm food and Tifa making conversation despite Barret’s booming voice. That sounded very nice.

Tifa taking a shower was an idea that could definitely have his thought veering off to unwanted directions, at least, when they were stuck together for an extended period of time. He focused on not losing her as they stepped back into the bustling streets of sector 6, making their way to the gym. There was one very small, very makeshift shower “stall”. The guys instantly welcomed them, since the pair had both won their workout matches in the past week, Tifa bumping her fists with a few of them, Cloud simply glaring at anyone who seemed to be too happy to see her. He couldn’t quite explain this instinct when she was surrounded by guys. The talks he heard from some people in Sector 7 had made his skin crawl.

She was a beautiful woman. She was a walking fantasy for most men, him included. She was also single, which had to mean she was _fair game_ , the very concept reminding Cloud of the other infantrymen’s gossip, back when his memory was still working fully. Standing guard as Tifa took a quick shower in this musty gym was definitely a weird feeling, but it didn’t make his heart jumble in his chest quite like the sight of her walking out of the stall, her forehead still glistening, damp hair sticking to her white shirt. She’d tied it into a tight ponytail to avoid turning her entire shirt transparent, but he could tell she was intimidated. She was worrying her lower lip, her hands awkwardly moving as she resisted the urge to hold them behind her back.

He’d somehow washed up, half forced to do so by Jules, entirely hoping Tifa hadn’t heard the few comments about him needing to smell good for her.

With a few thanks, the pair walked out, agreeing to try and set up their tent in the park’s square. Cloud wanted to buy his own, but Tifa insisted that it would be fine with only one. They needed to save their money in case they needed more supplies and there was no telling what would be happening next. Setting camp was easy enough, Tifa receiving an extra sheet from Marle. They had one sleeping bag they spread open as far as the tent would allow, Tifa taking off her gloves and setting on her side, while Cloud tried to set his sword in a way that wouldn’t be dangerous. He ended up wedging it into the dirt on his right, driving it deep enough that it would stand up, but not far enough that he could cut himself against the edge. He usually didn’t move much in his sleep and if Tifa did, his body would keep her from hurting herself on the sword.

“I haven’t seen that many soldiers, but I don’t think I’ve seen any with such a large weapon.”

“Depends on the fighting style of the guy,” Cloud answered. Something burned at the back of his throat and he wasn’t sure if it was the remnant of his beer or the impression he was lying.

He did _know_ this. There wasn’t much lighting to see each other, Tifa kicking off her shoes after tossing and turning once, Cloud unclipping his shoulder plate, although reluctantly. He laid himself down, crossing his arms as he blinked at the tent’s ceiling. Tifa was less than an armlength away. She shuffled next to him, he could hear fabric shifting, then her shy apology.

“If I keep my shirt on, it will still be wet in the morning.”

Cloud tried to process the knowledge like a gentleman. Like a robot even. In any way that would keep his arms crossed over his chest and his hands from wondering if she wasn’t cold. There was goosebumps over his shoulders and if he was cold, surely she was too. His back was starting to hurt from how rough and straight the ground was.

“I’m starting to regret this idea,” she sighed.

Cloud stopped resisting and rolled on his side to face her. In the dim lighting getting through the tent, he could make out her eyes and not much else.

“You cold?” he asked.

“A bit… Cloud, are you?”

“My arm can be a pillow,” he offered, his voice sounding hesitant, which convinced Tifa to inch closer, pulling their bed sheet off him without meaning to.

“Guess this is like our sleepovers.”

“Sleepovers?” he repeated.

“Don’t you remember? Or maybe my memory is fuzzy.”

Their mothers had been great friends and quite close, the pair hanging out a lot thanks to it, until Tifa’s mother had passed away. The thought made him feel even more protective, Cloud finding the strength to ask her, “Is it okay if I hold you?”

Her hand found his shoulder, his body tensing in pure reflex, Tifa stroking his upper arm, hoping he would calm down. Ever since she’d meet him after all these years, he’d seemed so lost and warry.

“Should I turn around or…?”

“Just… Come here.”

He bit his lower lip, tasting how eager he’d sounded just now, but Tifa’s face was close enough for him to feel her warm breath through his shirt, his arms instinctively wrapping around her, holding her safe and close. She relaxed next to him, which seemed to give him the permission to do the same.

She sighed, her hands touching his chest, fingers gently smoothing the fabric of his shirt.

“What are you up to?”

They were both surprised he’d asked, Tifa glad the proximity prevented him from seeing her blushing.

“It’s just… all warm and cozy.”

That was a foreign feeling. For him at least and he hadn’t thought it would be for her too.

“Just let me know if… it’s too tight or something.” He managed.

Tifa shook her head lightly, inching even closer. One of her legs was between his and he didn’t mind, he was simply mesmerized by her scent, her warmth, her touch…

“It’s fine. Feels perfect right now,” she added in a content sigh.

The word was like a slap in the face, Cloud fighting against the pang of another twitching memory. Nothing was perfect, but he was a _failure_ and it was written so deep into him after everything… Tifa felt him tensing, apologizing and motioning to pull away.

“No,” was all he could mustered, his panic muffled but Tifa could almost sense it wrapping around them both.

_Stay. Let me have this. Just be patient enough, I’ll control it, I’ll tone it down._

“Cloud…”

He squeezed her waist, cupping the back of her head with one hand, his thumb brushing against her ear. She closed her eyes, her hands shifting as the need for his embrace overwhelmed her. No sword in the way and no crowd had to mean it was already, her arm going around his shoulders, her other hand flat against his chest, finding the rough beating of his heart. They waited in silence, holding on each other and counting the heartbeats. Letting their breathing grow deeper.

He wanted to kiss her hair now but held it back. Couldn’t do that unless she was asleep, she was the kindest soul he knew, but she would tease him about it. Instead he stroked her dark hair, Tifa letting out a low whine that made his body clench.

“At times like this, I realize just how bad…”

She bit her tongue, realizing she was talking out loud, Cloud taking a deep breath before letting his hand follow the curve of her spine. Her skin was so soft, he almost…

“How bad what?” he asked her, bringing his thoughts to a grinding halt.

“I’ve missed you,” she confessed, her voice a soft whisper.

The air came out of his lungs as a shudder, his heart mellow.

“I did too.”

“You did?”

Her surprise hurt, but over it, he heard genuine relief. How lonely had she been these past five years?

“Tifa…”

She shook her head, pressing her face against his chest, making him a little more confused.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

It was the way he said her name. Like it mattered. She felt precious from every little touch and it seemed he needed them all, even if they were mostly to make sure she was okay. Since she’d found him again, it seemed like she had a rock holding her steady. Even if Seventh Heaven was down, she felt at home in this tiny tent.

“But Tifa…”

“It’s fine,” she insisted, her voice stronger, his shirt scrunching as she gripped onto it a little harder. “Can you try… to not have me missing you again?”

His weak chuckle was followed by the briefest touch to the crown of her head, Tifa unsure if Cloud Strife had just kissed her or pressed his head on top of hers. She felt warm and safe now, knowing her cheeks were even warmer.

“I’ll be there in the morning,” he assured her.

_And the one after. As many as I can._

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a bench involved? *runs away*


	4. Airtight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a silly one, but the idea got in my head, had to exorcise it. I swear, Cloud will have some relief eventually. And so will Tifa.

He should have seen it coming from miles away, but as they started backtracking to regroup with Barret in the men’s bathroom, a bad shift had his sword stuck in the small space. He felt the magnet tugging and tried pushing it around, only to hear the metal grinding against metal.

“Shit.”

“Oh no. Cloud, are you stuck?” Tifa asked him in a whisper.

“No, I’m… Well a little bit, but I’ll manage, you should get back to Barret and I’ll catch up,” he offered.

If it had been any brighter in there, he might have spotted the light blush on her face as she processed what that would mean. They’d followed each other in the vents, only squeezing side by side to catch the Shinra meeting. The space was so tight, she couldn’t avoid brushing against him and since she was moving backward, it was nearly impossible to get an idea of where she was touching before making contact. She inched back carefully, apologize as she bumped into him, Cloud grunting but shaking his head at her.

“You don’t want any help with…”

“I’ll be fine,” he insisted, trying to push himself back to give her space. He was starting to wish she would be less careful and move faster, feeling a familiar warmth swelling in his chest as she brushed against him.

If he had had the space for it, he could have wrapped her in his arms and have her stay this close. Instead he bit on his tongue, nearly yelping as Tifa suddenly twisted around, covering her mouth with one hand while trying to push away something he couldn’t see.

“Wha…?”

“Spi… spider!” she managed to whisper to him, inching closer to him out of pure instinct as she gestured to her neck.

“Is it gone?”

She shook her head, lightly trembling. Cloud could feel her chest pressing against his arm, but her hip was also closer than he’d thought, also trembling and touching him far lower than any of their friendly hugs allowed. He’d never needed a lot of friction when thinking about Tifa, but now it was simply unbearable.

He reached for her hair, spotting the spider, which was actually the size of his palm, a gasp escaping his throat as he scooped it up and hurled it further ahead into the airvent.

“It really was a spider, wasn’t it?”

“Did it bite you?” Cloud shot back, worry in his voice.

“No, no, just gave me a scare.”

They heard faint scurrying and were both keen on getting out now, Cloud’s arms gripping to her shoulders as though that would protect her.

“Are you still stuck?”

A roll of his shoulders confirmed so, but it also brought to both of their attention a certain reaction to their forced proximity.

He felt Tifa freezing, then inching away only to shift back into him. As though she needed confirmation. The unexpected pressure made him groan and it wasn’t low enough, he saw the surprise in her eyes at the notion.

“Are you…?”

“I’m _not_!” he sounded so defensive he mentally winced at himself.

“Cloud…”

“Just… ignore it?”

As she blinked at him slowly, Cloud felt his throat tightening and sensed a shift in her surprise. He’d seen her deal with other guys before. He knew he was already lucky to even be her friend. And if they were ever going to get any further, he certainly didn’t want this kind of awkward start. It would be awkward no matter where, but… Was she amused? Was she flattered or worse, disgusted? Her expression was kind, but she was too kind for this world, no matter how tough she could get. And this right now was just…

“Tifa, please…”

“I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll get right out!” she blurted out.

There was more she wanted to say, he had no idea what, but he half wanted to hear it, except she was moving ahead, which was down, her hands steering clear from him.

_Think of the spider, it might be coming back, you need to get out and…_

They somehow stumbled back out, Barret’s impatient comments about how long they took effectively dousing Cloud’s rebellious body.

He made sure to give Tifa space for the first few minutes following but staying away from her when they were in enemy territory was like walking backward. They stopped to take cover behind a large palm tree as employees passed by, the brunette tentatively inching closer to him. Their hands brushed, glove on glove, eyes falling to look between them despite the fact they needed to focus on the present. Their fingertips brushed as though to exchange the words they couldn’t voice with Barret around.

_It’s okay. I won’t go anywhere._

_You’re not losing me._

To be continued…


	5. Raw kisses - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I very much shouldn't have been writing this right now, but needed to exorcise this one too XD So we can say that Cloud and Tifa are taking things to the next level. And we backtrack to know why and how it even started. Enjoy!

She was warmer and tighter than he’d ever imagined. Her hands on the back of his neck and his shoulders as they moved made everything tender, everything gentler. Her hair was spilling all over the one pillow on the mattress, her eyes darker and demanding for more, more, more.

Things had escalated quickly, and he wouldn’t deny it. They’d been flirting with being close, been flirting with light touches of their hands, the brush of a shoulder, the silent whispers, the brief but meaningful smiles. She never insisted, never pressured him, but she’d been impatient, he could tell so now, as her hips buckled, her legs closing around his waist.

“Cloud, please don’t… don’t stop.”

He shook his head at her, his breath a race and a pulse, his entire body awake with nothing but her. He wouldn’t stop. He never wanted to pull away. He pumped into her, growing rougher with his own impatience, with the sense of urgency coming with the nearing release.

_Make it last, please make it last, you both need this._

…

They’d left the others to pick up supplies at the local store. Aerith would have normally tagged along and it would have turned into a girl’s outing, Cloud becoming their bags’ carrier for yet another time. But they’d been through a rough fight, Aerith exhausting herself keeping them all alive through the use of materia. Barret had grunted some back-handed comment about spikey needed to blow off some steam to get his head back in the game and Red XIII had already fallen asleep by the foot of Aerith’s bed.

Tifa and Cloud were both quite exhausted themselves, but Cloud wanted to make sure they could leave first thing in the morning, the vibe of this small town making him remember Nibelheim. If he wasn’t careful, he’d hear his mother calling for him and throwing glances over his shoulder to see nothing but flames as he blinked was not… He was so tired of aching like this. He could tell Tifa was also wound up, her gestures were tighter, her motions almost jerky when she was usually graceful even after too many fights.

“You think it’s because we can see the sky here too?” Tifa asked him. “It feels… As though everything is too open.”

Nothing to contain a fire. Nowhere to really hide in case a Shinra’s helicopter came snooping around. Cloud grabbed her hand, feeling her fingers squeezing his and he resented the fact they were both wearing gloves at that very instant.

“Nothing should fall on our head, though.”

“Gotta find the little comforts,” she agreed with him.

She seemed out of focus for an instant, and maybe he was too, for his hip bumped into hers, Cloud instantly reaching out to hold her waist and keep her steady. She looked at him, the now familiar blush on her cheeks, an apology coming, but he cut her off with his own.

“Is everything okay?”

Her eyes widened, a no tumbling from her, then a nervous yes and Cloud felt the tug at his heartstrings, nearly flinching from it.

“Tifa…”

“Are we doing the right thing?”

He wasn’t sure what they were even trying to do, but knowing she still had doubts made it hurt. He wanted her serene, like she used to be, he wanted her at peace because it was what she gave to him every day with her smile and understanding.

“Does it matter?” he heard himself saying.

Right or wrong, a lot of it had been destiny and they’d taken that out of the equation somehow.

She halted completely, looking around them, a shiver shaking her shoulders.

“Cloud, I…”

She sounded lost now. Lost and confused. His constant state of mind in short.

“What do you need Tif?”

The surname surprised them both, but she smiled, flushing slightly.

“If I tell you, will you let me know what you need too?”

Cloud’s throat was so tight he wasn’t sure air could go through anymore. She’d just lost her hometown, her new cities, a ton of friends and she was vulnerable, he wanted to make sure she was protected, even if it was from himself…

“I want to hide you somewhere until you feel entirely safe again,” he admitted, his eyes looking away from her for the shortest time.

Wasn’t it wrong? It had to be wrong.

Tifa nodded to him, throwing a glance over her shoulder and spotting a quieter street. A lean of her head towards it had him nodding and they walked hand in hand, Cloud shocked by how simple it felt.

“I’m not sure what I need,” she confessed as they stopped near the northern wall surrounding the city, avoiding puddles of water to stand in front of each other once more. “But I want you to feel safe too, you know?”

He sighed, wishing she could make things easy for him just this once.

“Do you still feel trapped?” he asked her. She shook her head the affirmative, Cloud reaching for her shoulders and swallowing as she mirrored his gesture. “How do I make it go away?” he insisted.

Her breathing was quicker from this close and he realized he’d taken a step forward, Tifa’s chest flushed against his. She didn’t move away, her eyes staring back at his, the kindness shifting to something else.

“Cloud… Do _you_ feel trapped?”

_Not here. Not here, but the rest of the time, I might…_

“I’m trying to focus on you, Tifa,” he reminded her, and it seemed to be the thing to make her snap.

The fact he was voicing it for once.

Her hand on his left shoulder moved, gripping his collar and tugging him down to her. Their noses touched, Tifa’s grip relaxing as a sense of everything she was risking washed over her. Cloud was tensed up next to her, but he was also not pulling away at all, his arms wrapping around her even closer.

“If… I can’t wait anymore, Cloud.” She pleaded, his breath coming out as a shocked shudder.

She’d been holding back. She’d been holding back while he was still confused and now that she was giving him permission, he was almost even more terrified than before.

But if she couldn’t wait, why was he even hesitating?

He leaned into her, his legs feeling weak, the wall holding him and her as he stepped forward, lifting her up to ease the strain on her neck. Her mouth was soft against his, hesitant but warm, her hands holding onto him as he tried to control his strength. His heart was a hurricane in his chest, his repressed need for warmth and for her making every motion seem too slow. He cupped the back of her head, worried she’d hurt herself on the rough wall, but her lips were parting to better fit with his and it was perfect, for the first time in his entire life, something felt right.

He pulled back to see her eyes, see whether this was really okay, wondering if her smile was contagious or if his own smile was too wide. His cheeks were hurting. His heart burned and as he followed the soft tug of her hands to kiss her another time, he sensed her own heartbeat. Thundering next to his.

“Tifa…”

“We can talk later, I need you right now.”

There was no holding back now, no way he could with the moan she made as he stole her lips and pressed himself even more into her. He wanted to stay soft, but she told him she wouldn’t break and the next kiss was salty, Tifa gasping into his mouth, groaning along him as his hips thrusted forward.

“Cloud…!”

He could have sworn something rumbled in his chest.

“Don’t… say my name like that.”

That was a mistake, his name came back, her voice almost rough with built-up need.

“Tifa, this… We need walls.”

She nodded, shocked by the fact she wasn’t even afraid to push this further and all the way.

He stepped away from her, just one step, but right now it was an eternity and she held to his hand, her other hand pressing against the middle of her chest as though it could help her heart slow down.

“Should we… try to warn the others we’ll be late or…?”

They both blushed at the idea, Cloud shaking his head.

“There was another inn, wasn’t it?”

She inched closer to him, to lean against his shoulder, Cloud fighting against the urge to look around to make sure no one could see them like this. Did it really matter now? He’d kissed her senseless in the middle of an open city and they were talking about finding a room. The thought sobered him up somehow.

“Isn’t this too fast?”

“Why?”

She didn’t want to lose her oldest friend to this, but she also couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t take a leap of faith right now.

“I… Tifa, you don’t know how…”

“Then tell me,” she encouraged him.

“You… I…”

_I can’t screw this up. I can’t lose you._

He huffed, the hand holding hers trembling.

“Cloud, I’m a mess too, okay? And we can’t tell if this is wrong unless we try?”

“Not saying it feels wrong. Heck, Tifa, you feel…”

He pulled her back to him, stroking the small of her back and leaning his forehead against hers, grateful for how she held him back and the little sound of contentment she made.

“You mean a lot to me.” He managed, hating how lame it sounded.

But he was so wide open just with those words and she knew, somehow she always knew.

“You mean a lot to me too,” she said, shifting her head to find his lips another time.

The kiss was beyond soft, soon melting into passion and need. Making it to the inn sounded like a challenge right now, but neither of them were worried. It was hard enough to remember of the world existing beside the person holding on to them.

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a part 2 and possibly a part 3. Considering how short this is.


	6. Raw Kisses - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awkward fluffy handsy transition towards smut. I only write porn with feelings and have little free time at the moment, -believe it or not- so I'm keeping the short format.

Renting a room had never seemed like such a process, and Cloud was conscious that it was the middle of the afternoon and thus not quite a normal time for it, but Tifa and him were both tired and also horny, so conventions were out the window. They still stepped into the room awkwardly, Cloud focusing on locking the door while Tifa tiptoed around the place, closing the blinds first, turning on one of the night table’s lamp and then staring at the carpeted floor wondering if they hadn’t lost their mind. They were running away from Shinra, still sporting heavy bruises from their most recent encounters with monsters affected by Mako, and she could tell Cloud was sometimes even more confused then she was.

He made a very different sweep of the place, checking under the bed, inside the closets and the bathroom. He’d done the same in the small suit they’d gotten.

“We might have to go out and kill some things to gather money for this,” he observed as he came back to the bedroom.

Tifa shrugged, hoping she looked nonchalant.

“Would make a good excuse though. We can buy extra provisions too.”

He smirked at that, crossing his arms over his chest and giving her a quick once-over, not trying to hide it. She couldn’t remember feeling him checking her out before, but it brought back the butterflies and excitement from the kisses earlier.

“I… I think I should take a shower,” she managed.

Cloud’s smile was fragile but refusing to leave, his eyes glued to hers as he spoke.

“I could use one too.”

Tifa held her breath. Warm knots were snapping in her lower stomach, her cheeks too warm.

“Are you going to take that sword with you?” she teased him.

“I’ll leave it by the counter?” he offered, knowing how bad it sounded.

She giggled, soon realizing he was serious.

“Cloud!”

He ran a nervous hand through his hair.

“I don’t like leaving it out of my sight. I’ve had some pretty shitty luck before,” he added, sounding less defensive as he took the sword off his back.

“Can you balance it to be sure it won’t fall?”

“We can also take turns,” he offered sheepishly.

Tifa shook her head, sensing her nervousness growing. This would be too awkward for her heart. To know he was waiting on her. She wanted him close and feeling good with her, she wanted more of his voice, even if he wouldn’t give her words.

“Come with me now,” she said, her hand reaching out.

His eyes stared at her offered palm for the briefest time, then coming back to her. They were so green. So blue. She was starting to forget how they’d looked before the mako. He was holding her hand now, which was her cue to move, so she tugged him along, holding back on a nervous laugh as she led him to the bathroom, throwing glances at him as though to make sure this was happening.

He settled the sword by the counter as promised, in such a way only an earthquake should make it fall. He dropped his shoulder plate with less care, Tifa taking off her gloves and suspenders. She paused at this point, wondering if the nervous feeling would go away or if she was going to have to handle it until they’d both be naked. The though made her skin flare with heat, Cloud’s bare hands making her jump as he reached for her waist. Her back was to his chest.

“Hey. We don’t have to do anything,” he assured her.

“I know. But I want to do things,” she found herself saying, leaning back and raising her head to try and peer back at him. He turned her around in his arms, his next exhale coming out a little rough.

“What things?”

She cupped his face with both hands, pulling him into a kiss, feeling the nervousness dying down as he answered her touch with a rumbling fire. She had questions for him, since there was no way these few weeks together had been enough to ignite such passion and need, she was barely understanding herself. Right now, he was barely allowing her air, her name sounding so much better on his voice.

His hands went down the small of her back, cupping her ass through her skirt, Tifa gasping as he lifted her off the floor to have her sitting on the counter, his arms on either side of her.

“Cloud…”

“Don’t let me turn wild,” he asked her, already feeling too wild as he guided her legs open to step closer to her. Her skirt rode painfully high and she wanted to warn him there were shorts under there, but he was kissing her, holding her close again, nuzzling at her lower lip in a way that made her shivers even stronger.

“Hmmm. Now I’m curious,” she moaned into his ear.

He blinked at her, taken aback.

“Tifa, don’t… tease me too much.”

She worried her lower lip, the sight nearly undoing him since her lips were already red and swollen from kissing him.

“That counts for it,” he warned her.

“Well then, tease me back. Just not too much. My nerves are so raw…”

Her hands were playing with the fabric of his shirt as she spoke, tugging it out of his pants. A look in her eyes and the pressure of her fingertips had him convinced. He took his hands off her to pull the shirt over his head, not wasting any time looking where the garment fell, hooking his fingers under the edge of her tank top.

She nodded at his silent question, lifting her arms up and arching her back, which only made his pants feel tighter over him. She was still kind even in such situations, unclasping her bra and taking it off herself, her hands barely enough to cover herself.

“Damn, Tifa…” He held both breasts from underneath, her hands dropping as he started fondling her.

She wanted to tease him but his fingers were feeling good, almost too good, so she gave herself up to his ministrations. She gasped when he squeezed her harder, managing a “sore” to which he apologized, leaning in to kiss her neck, sighing deeply into her skin as she wrapped her arms around his back.

“I think I’ll forget the shower at this rate,” he said, chuckling against her collarbone.

“I’d feel better if I was clean the first time we…”

“Yeah?”

He planted another kiss further down, Tifa struggling for balance as his hips were now far away from where she wanted them and he was pulling her closer to the edge of the counter.

“Cloud, this isn’t your first time, is it?”

“First time sober. Let’s not talk about it. Unless it’s your…”

She shook her head, swallowing back her shock. Why had she thought he hadn’t met some pretty girl out there as he became a soldier? The sober comment worried her, but she couldn’t really be against drinking considering she used to be the owner of a bar. It was still hard to think of it in the past tense. Cloud’s mouth closed around her left nipple, her voice a shuddering moan.

“Cloud, I’m…” she gasped under his touch, somehow getting through the sentence. “… I’m all sweaty…”

“I’m not really going to help you with that,” he shot back, his hands roaming her sides, tracing her ribs and shivers.

“But if we do shower, we’ll both get fully naked.”

He made a sound she’d never heard of him, the mix of a grunt and a moan and it definitely sent things jumbling within her.

“Cloud, stand back up, please.”

He obliged her, kissing her once and twice since he could once more, Tifa smiling in between the kisses. He was as gentle as always, but she hadn’t expected him to be this affectionate. His hands seemed to need to touch her everywhere before pulling away, clearly still in a daze. As she slid off the counter, she noticed the dark-red scar in the middle of his chest, worry taking over. Hadn’t she felt a scar in his back that was quite similar. He had countless scars all over, she shouldn’t have been surprised, but this one seemed to attract her eyes more than the others. She following its edges with her fingertips, Cloud flinching.

“What happened?”

He audibly swallowed, his head shaking.

“What about you, Tifa? The inside of your hands…”

He picked her wrist off him, turning her hand around to give it a better look, her worry mirrored on his face now. Her palms were branded with deep burns.

“That’s… When I woke up in Nibelheim…”

She’d made something really stupid in her despair, which was why she hadn’t try to have her hands healed fully. She frowned, spotting twin scars on his own palms.

“Did you grab a sword with both hands?!”

“You got me there…” he sighed, shivering as she took it as her cue to examine his right hand.

The scars were softer than the rest of the skin, tender too despite the years and knowing those marks dated from the same time for them both… Cloud was torn once more with the urge to tell her, but his memories felt hazy and wrong. He opted for distracting her.

“You still liked my hands on you?”

“Oh Cloud. It’s your hands, of course I…”

Her voice broke, her heart clenching with warnings. But the words were out and his eyes looking too far into her, his shoulders drawing inward.

“I thought I scared you…”

“If I was scared, we wouldn’t be here…”

“I know, it’s…”

_I’ll get worse. That’s how it goes when our blood turns._

Her hands pressed against his chest, drawing him back to the present. To her.

“I’m not scared.” She told him. “Not if you’re here with me.”

He pulled her flush against him, grateful for her skin and how warm she felt.

“Shower?”

“Shower,” she agreed.

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more parts to expect for this, at the very least... Cause the shower will receive due attention.


	7. Raw kisses - Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT and fluff abounds. It's almost 3k words, and the conclusion of this little interlude. I hope they're not too OOC, because I feel that I struggled sometimes.

Cloud had pulled Tifa back between his arms for more kisses, the brunette moaning at the way he held her. Wanton ideas were coursing through her blood now, her body moving on instinct and need. His belt buckle was not comfortable against her waistline, so she set her hands to work, not quite careful about avoiding giving him light strokes through the fabric of his pants. The first touch had made him bite into her lower lip, Cloud pulling back with apologies written all over his face, to which Tifa had retorted by stepping back into his arms. And she’d groaned.

His blood had already been rerouted south, now it was painful.

“Don’t rush it,” he asked her. “I want this to be good for you.”

“Oh Cloud.”

His ears were red, self-doubt showing in his eyes, his hands moving up her thighs, finding the zipper under the folds of her skirt. He wanted to ask for permission, but he also wanted to kiss her again and the feel of her bare breasts pressing against his chest was still dangerously blowing his mind. The shuffling to get her out of the tight skirt was awkward, but with some teamwork, both of their lower garments and underwear rested on the floor, Tifa gasping at the feel of his hard cock on her stomach.

His sword was compensating for nothing and her stomach clenched a little as his hips jerked forward.

“Cloud, at this rate, we…”

He sighed, finding goosebumps all over her skin. He stepped away from her to pull the curtain shower open, Tifa turning the knobs to have hot water running, cringing slightly at the shower walls. The pattern on the ceramic was strange and while there was no rotten egg smell, Cloud agreed it could have looked more inviting.

“I am not touching those…” she admitted.

“Just touch me,” he whispered back, tugging on her wrist.

They stepped in one after the other, letting the water splash out as mist rose in the small room. Soaping up each other was more playful than useful, Cloud clearly torn since he wanted to touch her all over. His eagerness made her just as eager, their breathing melding as they held onto each other, rubbing, pressing, moaning.

“Turn around?” he suggested, squeezing her hips.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, smiling through the blush still on her cheeks, turning around. She gathered her wet hair to the side, making since it wasn’t in the way of their skin brushing. He kept his arms around her, guiding her to lean back into him, the warm water trickling down her body as his fingers dove along, reaching between her legs.

“Oh…!”

“Too fast?”

“No,” she managed, panting a little harder.

She couldn’t remember a time hearing herself panting had excited her so much. She bit into her lower lip, raising herself on her tiptoes as she leaned back into him, wishing she had the space to spread her legs further.

“Tell me what you like.”

“I… I can’t touch you like this, let’s get to the bed at least.”

“No, I want you coming first. I wanna hear you, and feel you, and…”

Her gasp was a shuddering sound, her hand covering his moving wrist.

“How long have you been holding back?” she managed.

His lips brushed against her neck, his breath rough with contained excitement.

“If I ask you, will you tell me?”

Another gasp as he followed her folds, his fingers warm, giving her pressure while his index built a nice pace. He was just a little off, but she liked the fact he was trying. His other hand wasn’t idle, teasing each of her breasts in turn, Tifa arching into the touches.

“You can be rough,” she breathed out, bending her neck to find his lips, the kiss a mess, their hair saturated, wet locks sticking to each other.

“Fuck, fuck, don’t…”

They both wavered at that point, finding balance as they centered on one another. More kisses, sloppy, eager, overwhelmed. Tifa wiggled against his erection, sensing it was her only way to titillate him back and he grunted, holding back a whimper of pure need. Rougher felt wrong, it was Tifa in his arms, but as her hand covered his, nudging him just a little deeper, he gave up on restraint. Her voice made a vulnerable sound, her flesh so warm around his fingers.

“I’m almost…!”

Oh but she was there already. Cloud didn’t slow down, taking the shifting pressure of her hand on his wrist as his guide, her uneven breathing almost as good as her shivering voice. Words were stuck in his throat, deep in his heart. They felt wrong for him, wrong considering the lies he’d already tell.

_Don’t make it complicated. Just focus on her._

The water was getting cold, and Tifa stretched her arms to reach the knobs. He didn’t waste time waiting for the last droplets to fall off them, helping her out, smirking as she noted how he couldn’t take his hands off her.

“Gotta keep you warm.”

Her fingers trailed down his sides, further down to wrap around his cock. He set his jaw, a moan making it past his throat nevertheless. He wanted all of her touches, things he’d tried not to imagine coming back to his mind. Her hands moving. Her eyes looking up at him in question, lips too pink, cheeks red with the steady exhilaration. Cloud’s hands squeezed her hips, digging into her flesh, his eyes hazy.

“Tif…”

“It’s your turn,” she shushed his budding protest, stroking his full length, her eyes taking him in. All of him it seemed.

“Just hands?” he asked, hoping she heard the plea for her to not give him more.

Allowing this was already a lot, but he wouldn’t taint her. The strokes became a squeeze, his raw nerves jumbling.

“Cloud?”

He shook his head, unsure to what he wanted to say no, unsure if there was even a point. Her hands slowed, his palms cupping her ass, light shaking going through his shoulders.

“Cloud, if it’s not…”

“I _need_ you. All of you.”

Her gasp was a familiar music now, even if something about her surprise hurt. The fact he wanted her was clear, but saying it out loud… He couldn’t explain where the pain inside was coming from, why a part of him was calling this wrong. Was he still baffled by the fact she was welcoming him this easily? He wanted to make sue she really saw him when she blinked. Fought against the fear of looking at their reflection in the mist-covered mirror above the vanity, in case the glass wouldn’t show him standing in front of her, but another SOLDIER. A real one.

Tifa stepped closer, standing on her tiptoes, guiding his erection between her thighs to brush against her warm folds. She was bold, bold, maybe her reflection would also be wrong, maybe was he dreaming all this. But her arm wrapped around him. When he squeezed her, she jumped, her chest moving up and down too quickly.

“I need you too. Are you still with me?”

He kissed her yes, his “sorry” barely audible between the next two kisses. They were both cold wherever they didn’t touch each other, but neither minded it much, too focused on the moment. It was Tifa who pushed against his chest to encourage him back to the room. Much to her shock, Cloud didn’t bother to pick his sword on the way out. He did retain enough of his senses to worry about protection, putting on a condom as she pushed the sheets aside from the mattress, also pushing the pillows off except for one.

“How crazy do you think I’m going to…”

“I don’t really know what to do with myself…” she confessed, making an helpless gesture with her hands to convey her embarrassment.

It was quite weird to navigate through the awkward parts. Cloud worried his lower lip as he stepped next to her, one arm reaching around her. He had witty and naughty suggestions regarding what she could do with herself, but he didn’t want to make her any more nervous. His own nerves were starting to act up.

“How do you want to do this?” he asked instead.

“You seem very pent-up,” she observed, her hands laying flat against his chest to draw shivers from his skin. Her fingers teased one nipple, Cloud heaving an actual gasp. His skin was so pale, the scars feeling even softer than the rest of him. She still wished he had less of those.

“And you’re not?” he managed.

“I’m doing a tad better.”

She lifted a leg, wrapping it over his, running one hand up to ruffle his damp hair. It was already starting to point upwards. His patience was melting, and he laid her down, following closely, sneaking one hand between them to tease her. Her arms wrapped over his neck, pulling him close.

Kissing her was not familiar yet, but he was already addicted. Her lips, her tongue, the tiny sounds she made, biting lightly on him as she tried to bite into her own lip.

“I’m good and ready for you,” she promised, flushed all over but sounding certain.

She wanted him. _Him._ He might have whimpered, but that wasn’t how he wanted her to remember this. She felt so solid, so warm.

“Too good for me,” Cloud sighed in between kisses, leaning his forehead against hers.

Her head shook in disapproval, her eyes telling him the words he wouldn’t say. Weeks to reconnect and after one kiss, they were already…

She arched her back to feel him closer, holding on to him with one arm, her free hand finding his cock, guiding him to her core. Cloud couldn’t help a curse as he finally got to feel her. His body knew how it wanted to move, his will somehow slowing it down, his brain trying to process if Tifa’s hands had really moved down to cup his balls. His eyes were glued to her, to her face, the way her chest shivered now.

“Cloud…”

When had his name become a plea on her voice? He pushed further, to taste just how close they could join, knowing he would blow if he lost focus.

“Tifa, Tifa, can I…?”

“Full sentences?” she suggested, blinking slowly as she tried to accustom herself to him. He could reach so deep...

“You good?”

“Cloud, stop worrying so much and just…!” she moaned as he pulled back and thrusted himself even deeper. “Damn!”

He repeated the motion, holding her hips to his, sensing a pressure building up in the back of his head. Were the flashes trying to drag him away from her, now of all times?

“Hold me, Tifa. Talk to me, if anything is too much, if it’s not enough or…”

Her hands were on his shoulder blades, her next words spoken on a shuddering breath.

“I want more of this. Of you.”

He hacked a moan, building a steady rhythm, Tifa shifting along him. When she said his name again, he shivered down to his soul.

_No, no, we’re too fragile._

Was it weakness to hold her in his heart? She wasn’t a distant dream anymore, he could say he knew her. How could he get her to know him, the real him, when he was still lost?

He tried to raise himself a little so he could find a different angle, to try out if one move or another would change her voice. He loved every content sound she made. She clung to him, whimpering at the smallest hint of parting.

“Hey, hey, I’m just…”

“Hold me,” Tifa cut him off.

She felt bad for asking this, they were both relieving each other’s tension, but her skin barely held her together. This wasn’t some stranger sharing a meaningless night with her. She wasn’t drunk -well, she never got herself drunk around people- and Cloud neither. This was _her_ Cloud, raw with need, his arms strong around her, his voice warm instead of cool. The Cloud who always looked out for her, always made sure to catch her if she missed a step, who allowed himself to relax when they were alone.

Her heart swelled, unknowing the mess she’d unravelled with her small plea. He kissed her right shoulder, the hollow of her neck, relishing her moaned chuckles as she was tickled by his wild hair. When he pulled back, it was to stay close, kissing her senseless, tasting her fire.

Her hair was spilling all over the one pillow on the mattress, her eyes the darkest red, demanding for more, more, more.

Her hips buckled, legs closing around his waist.

“Cloud, please don’t… don’t stop.”

He shook his head at her, his breath a race and a pulse, his entire body awake with nothing but her. He wouldn’t stop. He never wanted to pull away. He pumped into her, growing rougher with his own impatience, with the sense of urgency coming with the nearing release. His thrusts had no order and her own body felt out of control. She clenched over him, pushing him well over the final edge, their voice mingling, one breathy sigh and half a dozen moans.

She felt weak now, holding to him with whatever strength she had left. For the first few heartbeats following, he laid his weight on her, almost fully.

“I should…”

“Stay Cloud. Just a little longer.”

He exhaled a shaky breath, squeezing her close, their cheeks brushing. He was even more open now, but he’d give her anything she’d ask. Her fingers drew circles on his scalp, Cloud feeling ready to purr. He gingerly pulled out, his eyes catching hers.

“You’re going to ruin me…” he teased.

_Like there’s anything left to ruin._

“Those are my words! You better not think I’m passing up on a second round.”

His smile turned smug, but only until they shared another kiss, lazy and slow now.

“I’m going to need a little bit,” he admitted.

He rolled off her, Tifa instinctively snuggling to his side. They both felt exhausted, but in such a good way for the first time in weeks. Cleaning up as quickly as possible, Cloud was glad to just hold her close, his heart a growing whirlwind. As she shifted to adjust and let out a new moan, he cocked an eyebrow at her.

“You’re really okay?”

“Just a bit sore, don’t panic, I’m feeling great.”

“Good. You’re worth the best of me.”

It was the endorphin mixing with the mako in his blood, or the fact his blood hadn’t reached his brain yet, he couldn’t be this mellow.

“Cloud, that’s…”

“I mean…!”

“Please, don’t take it back!”

She hid herself in his arms, holding so tight, her body shivering.

“Not taking it back,” he promised her, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. “Tifa…”

“I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?”

“I feel like I’m so clingy. If you don’t tell me what you really need of me, I can’t be…”

They needed boundaries. They’d always respected them in the past. But no boundaries between their bodies was more magical than the materias stuck in his sword.

“Tifa, this isn’t… I need you safe, that’s not going to change.”

She had questions for him, questions for herself, but they were both scared. His body tensed as his senses were overwhelmed with a violent vision, Tifa ripped from him, flames invading his sight, smoke in his nose, shots fired across his ears. He blinked, hard. Almost saw the face of the guy talking to him as they sat in a yellow truck. Sensed walls of glass as he reached forward, his lungs filled with green water, his mind seizing.

“Cloud!”

Snapped back to the present, trembling like a leaf, he shook off the bad taste of the episode, meeting Tifa’s worried eyes.

_Oh no._

One of her hands was on his chest, resting atop the scar.

He could see Sephiroth’s sword as he blinked, cold sweat rolling down his neck, his hands blindly reaching for her.

“Cloud, are you with me?”

“I’m sorry. I’m here, this…”

“Can you please not pretend this was nothing?”

Her distress was so clear, it was just as painful as his growing headache.

“Tifa, I’m… First promise not to tell the others or to panic?”

“Cloud!”

The fact he flinched made her heart clench. He swallowed, holding her so carefully now.

“It comes and goes, it has to be because of the mako they injected me with.”

He wouldn’t mention degradation. He _couldn’t_. From the look on her face, he didn’t have to.

“Can anything be done to…?”

He shook his head, silently thanking her for not pulling away. He felt so wrong. So, so wrong. Her eyes stared at his for a long while, then falling down to the scar she’d covered without thinking.

“How can I help?”

His heart did a flip. She _was_ too good for him.

“We can have each other’s backs?”

“And backside too, apparently.”

Laughing was refreshing after all the tension. He knew she wasn’t fully reassured, but a kiss to the corner of her lips and a dozen more on her mouth was the best he could give her for now.

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More will come eventually, with or without bench involved ;)


	8. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tifa is under confusion from heavy poisoning because of some monster and it's not going away. It's up to Cloud to keep her in check until they can treat her.

The first punch had been unexpected, Cloud nearly knocked off-balance. The monsters they were fighting had the worse breath, actually exhaling colored smoke that they’d avoided so far. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Tifa with her fists held up, already aiming another hit at him.

“She’s confused!” he warned the others, rolling forward to avoid her attack. Aerith stumbled backward, Barret finishing off the monsters with the help of Red XIII.

“Tifa!” Aerith called after her. “Tifa, don’t rush off!”

“Don’t we have a materia or something?” Barret barked, gesturing with his arm gun to point at Tifa.

They used to, until they’d met that weird Wutai girl.

“Stolen,” Cloud reminded him, rushing towards the women of their party.

Aerith had caught Tifa by her shoulders, forced to hold on to the straps tied to her skirt to actually hold her back.

“Let.GO!” the martial artist snapped.

“It’s not wearing off?” Red whispered.

Usually, after a battle, ailments of this kind would vanish by themselves.

“Anyone has a remedy?” Aerith said, Cloud getting between her and Tifa to halt her punch with his arm.

“Nope.”

“Not a one.” Barret added.

“Well damn. Kalm is not too far, is it?”

They’d just left the place after some much needed rest.

Tifa was tossing and kicking wildly, Cloud catching her wrists and wrestling back, knowing that one false move could give her the opening she needed to toss him over her shoulder. Hopefully, in her current state of confusion, she wouldn’t think of trying that against him.

“Tifa!”

“Let me go. I don’t… Let me go!” she insisted, her voice shifting in a way that made his heart twist painfully.

He brought her closer, hoping she would calm down if she did recognize him. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, and while he still had to keep her arms immobile, the warmth of being close reached her somehow. She leaned back into him, her shoulders relaxing as her fists unclenched.

“What should we do?”

“We need to find a stupid vending machine, that’s what we do.” Barret barked.

His voice sent Tifa back into her fit, the brunette throwing her head back at Cloud’s throat. He let go with a grunt, Red lowering his ears as Tifa hurled herself forward, electricity gathering around her fists.

“Leave me alone!” she asked.

“Tifa, it’s us!” Aerith tried getting to her, her staff held askew as she considered using it against her friend.

Barret stepped in, cursing as she kicked him in the shin hard enough to have him bouncing around on his good leg. Cloud came out of his daze, sweeping at her feet with one leg and pouncing as she jumped off. It pained him to do so, but he pinned her down, managing to pull her arms up above her head despite her trashing.

“Take off her gloves,” he asked Aerith.

Their friend nodded quickly, apologizing as it took her some time to effectively pull the gloves off, Cloud easing his hold on Tifa’s arms as soon as she was unarmed.

“Tif, it’s okay. You’re not in danger,” he whispered to her.

“I don’t know you!” she protested, her words hitting him sharper than any of her kicks and punch.

“Yes you do, you’re just confused,” Aerith tried reassuring her.

“Let go, I don’t…” Cloud winced above her, using his weight against her to keep her pinned, wishing he could hug her like he normally would, wishing they had talked enough to have special word that could reach her through the fog.

“Tifa!” this time, worry fully permeated his voice, his childhood friend relaxing with widened eyes. As though she was really seeing him for the first time. He gathered her close within the following heartbeat, a painful pang in his chest, his arms warm, his hands gentle on her again. The only way it should be.

Her face was against his neck, her breath tickling his skin and she was still breathing roughly, still definitely confused and overwhelmed by what the poison was doing to her system. But instead of pushing him away, she clung back to him, a whimper making it past her throat.

Dead silence surrounded them as the full group waited for the angry confusion to swell back, for Cloud to be pushed aside, but Tifa simply shivered, her voice a tiny sound as she asked where they were and why. If Cloud had looked up to the others, he would have seen genuine shock on Aerith’s face and something between surprise and knowing on Barret’s. Red was unreadable as always, bumping his muzzle against Barret’s leg to gather his attention.

“We should hurry and find a remedy for her.”

Cloud gently cupped the back of Tifa’s head, pushing himself to a sitting position while making sure he kept her as close as possible. Her fingers were gripping onto his shirt now, the questions still coming, rushing out.

“I don’t understand, where are we, where… Why, Cloud, why?”

“You guys can’t stay right here in the middle of nowhere…” Barret observed.

After brief deliberations – Kalm was a good hour away on foot- and confirming that moving Tifa around only made the confusion worse and it even harder for Cloud to calm her down, they set up a tent right where they were, Aerith staying while Barret and Red hurried back to calm. If the pair didn’t encounter any monster on the way, it meant about two hours of waiting while trying to comfort Tifa, and also to avoid any sudden punch if her confusion made her feel so unsafe she went back into fight mode.

The next two hours passed very slowly, Cloud keeping Tifa in his lap for most of it, answering to her questions by stroking her hair or rocking her in that gentle motion he remembered his mother using for him. He wouldn’t have been able to do something for anyone else. He wasn’t sure how he didn’t crack down after the first ten minutes of Tifa sounding so worried, confused. And to top it off, she was burning up with a fever. They’d tried using a cure materia on her, one of the only one healing materias they still had after their encounter with the ninja girl. The very sense of magic had drove Tifa into screeches that frightened both Cloud and Aerith far too intensely to try anything else but soothing her.

He could feel Aerith’s eyes on them almost constantly, and whenever his eyes went up to her, he found her looking away sheepishly. This was the most affectionate he’d been towards Tifa in front of the rest of their ragtag team and he wasn’t sure whether or not their secret would remain safe after this. He could almost _hear_ Aerith’s questions and he knew she was simply curious and outspoken, but he dreaded them.

What he shared with Tifa was still new and frail, like a newborn’s heart. Exposing it to anyone’s eyes, risking losing the only connection that truly meant something to him now…

“My head hurts,” Tifa whispered, quickly adding, “I’m so sorry…”

“What?”

“I’m being a handful…”

“Tifa, it’s fine.”

“Seriously, we should be happy it’s not Barret needing to be kept quiet right now, can you imagine?” Aerith chipped in.

Cloud chuckled, planting a kiss on Tifa’s hair without thinking.

“You think he’d fire on us?” Tifa asked, her voice white with fear.

“You’d better knock me unconscious in case I tried,” Barret’s booming voice made the three of them jump as he snuck his head into the tent. “Got enough remedies to cure an army here,” he barked, pulling the tent’s flap to allow Red XIII in.

“She does look a lot better than earlier,” Red observed.

“Still, better safe than sorry,” Aerith declared.

They passed the bottle to Cloud who gingerly shifted Tifa around to administer the remedy. She fussed, but her exhaustion had caught up with her. She coughed up a storm from inhaling the fumes coming off the bottle, blinking away tears. Cloud had to bit his tongue to refrain himself from drying them off, instead brushing locks of dark hair away from her face. Her eyes blinked, their deep red back to normal, her lips managing a tentative smile.

“What did I do?”

“Gave us quite a scare,” Aerith said.

Cloud nodded in agreement, squeezing Tifa close.

“Never thought Spikey was that handsy. Should we try to get a second tent in the future?” Barret teased them.

That effectively had Tifa jumping off Cloud’s lap, the blond man looking at Barret with murder in his eyes.

“Oh come on, why deny it?”

Tifa looked over her shoulder at Cloud, who ended up sighing and shrugging.

“How about we worry about restocking on our materia instead of getting another tent?”

Red was yawning on the tent’s floor, while Barret and Aerith agreed to let things go for now. Though it was clear Aerith would drag Tifa into a never-ending girl-talk.

It took three hours before Cloud followed Tifa out with the excuses to gather firewood together.

“I guess we’re just not quite subtle,” Tifa admitted.

“I was just trying to keep you from hurting yourself!” Cloud defended himself.

“I know, and I’m quite grateful for it. I fear I maybe have hurt you at some point though. You’ve been looking down all night.”

Cloud was tempted to voice how bad it had hurt to hear her saying she didn’t know him. Especially with how he barely recognized himself sometimes.

“I’m not down.”

“Cloud…”

“I should have prevented this whole situation from happening.”

“Cloud, we’re a team, we should have taken more precautions after having so many of our materias stolen…”

She was right and sill, something bugged him, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. Was it the fact he’d held her for hours and yet had not been allowed to kiss her once? Or how he feared her state of confusion was made up from scars from her past that he didn’t know about?

He tried to focus on the task at hand, on the wood he was supposed to pick and the fact that she was safe right now. Jumped as her hand touched his right arm. In another life, that spot on his arm would mean nothing, but he still dreamed of a number engraved on the skin and his throat burned at the thought.

“What do we do about being subtle?” he managed.

“Our friends aren’t blind,” Tifa started, caution in her voice as she went on. “I don’t want to make you feel pressured…”

There was no label so surely that meant no pressure, but there still was. They’d slept together. And he needed much much more now that he’d gotten a taste.

“I don’t know how to be… open around people.”

“And that’s okay.”

The tension hanging in the air was wrapping around his throat, he could tell from a look in her eyes a lot of things were not okay. But she was too good for him, too patient too… He turned to her fully, reaching for her with his free hand and dropping back to his side.

“I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You’re not messing anything up…” she started, cut off by his fingers lacing over hers as he grabbed both of her hands.

“I’m serious Tifa. I want to give you what you really need, not what you think I’m ready to…”

“But it’s important that you go at your own pace. This is new for both of us.”

“How do we start?” he insisted.

She worried her lower lip, but not for long, Cloud leaning in, cutting through the tension with a kiss that left her breathless.

“That’s a way to start _something_ ,” she managed.

Another kiss, even more thorough, his hands on her back, arms all around.

“I’m starting to think we’re both bad with words,” he teased her back.

Her blush was adorable, and he felt the heat in his ears as she shook her head at him, cupping his face.

“You do owe me a date. I mean, the one we’d talked about back in sector 7.”

“It can be more than one. We did skip a few steps,” he admitted, looking both sheepish and a little proud of himself.

“Asking me out?”

A nod followed by a kiss was all she got, his words failing him, but Tifa was fine with it, holding onto him. Each of his gestures spoke volume when his voice faltered. And getting a promise of a date with him was more than she’d expected when she’d suggested picking up firewood.

“We’re eating raw food unless you two stops sucking each other’s faces,” Barret called out.

“Oh shit!”

To be continued..


	9. First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a very short one because I needed some cloti today, and all week. It's pretty much just awkward fluff and some flirting.

It took them a good month to find a moment to even schedule their long-postponed date. Cloud was quite defensive about letting anyone from the rest of their party know and Tifa felt the same need to keep things quiet. As though spelling it out for anyone else then either of them could break what was just starting. They both knew they weren’t embarrassed by each other. They were far too happy to know just how much the other one cared and wanted them. Tifa was always insisting on picking up wood if he went out for it and Barret had stopped complaining about how long it took them to get back to camp. They were acting like frisky teenagers, Aerith teasing mostly Cloud and sometimes Tifa. Her flirting with Cloud was less intense, although it still happened every now and then. It was her way of letting them know they needed to be honest with themselves. Every interaction was playful and Tifa didn’t seem jealous, especially considering how stiffly awkward Cloud remained through it all.

He would let Aerith grab his arm when she was scared, would pull her away from danger, but when at ease, it was Tifa’s hand he reached for, Tifa’s shoulder he wanted to pull closer.

“Taking Tifa out, huh?” Aerith asked as he set his sword on his back, fresh from a shower, his hair looking spikier than ever.

They’d just arrived to this inn and while the town was tiny, Cloud had spotted a tavern. A sore excuse for a date, but Tifa had been excited as soon as he pulled her to the side while Barret, Aerith and Red went ahead to set their things in their rooms.

“N…no?”

“You’re an awful liar,” Aerith said, shaking her head at him. “Can you just give her a good time? If you make her cry, I’ll kick your ass,” she added, both hands turning into fists and her body mimicking a boxer’s fighting stance.

Cloud rolled his eyes at her, the tiniest hint of a smirk showing. He fought it, wondering why his throat was tightening. Not at the idea he could make Tifa cry, that had created a full vice around his heart and he was tempted to just hit himself in the chest in the hope it would set things right. Another thought pained him, that part of him that was strangely worried about Aerith even when she wasn’t around.

_Can we push the sky just a little further?_

_Why?_

_For her._

The thoughts were spoken in that voice he didn’t always recognize. He felt the headache growing and heard feathers shifting in his back, freezing as he feared this meant another episode.

This was the worst timing!

“Cloud?’

Spinning around to see Tifa, he blinked hard, unable to chase the picture of Sephiroth standing behind her. The green cat-like eyes were mocking him, the tall SOLDIER raising his sword. It was too long to be held up in this room, but the blade was sharp, so sharp and Tifa had been hurt by it once, he couldn’t…

“Cloud’s in the clouds again, huh?” Aerith observed, poking him in the ribs.

He bit his tongue to hold back a yelp, a shiver covering his need to jump out of his skin, Tifa instantly standing before him, catching his wrist and giving it a squeeze.

“Maybe you should catch some rest,” she noted, red eyes searching for his.

He blinked again, too quickly, the pounding in his head remaining while the vision of Sephiroth finally disappeared, letting his heart beat easier. The vice-grip on his chest softened, his mind settling back. No sky, no foreign voice, no vision of nightmare.

“I’m good,” he finally said. “I still owe you those drinks, remember?”

It felt corny, but the other words he wanted to say were “you look too good to stay in tonight” when all he really wanted was a room where they could be alone and he could hide between her arms until he felt like himself again.

Tifa caught something in his eyes, not fooled by the easygoing words, but she wouldn’t pry.

“As long as I don’t drink alone.”

A flashed smile, the pair already lost into each other, not even noticing Aerith sneaking back to her room with a toothy smile. They were both _so_ obnoxiously adorable…

…

The walk to the bar was easy and quiet, Cloud holding her hand after making a quick check of the streets. He wanted to make sure no Shinra men was around, even though it was pretty certain they already knew how much he cared about the brunette. The last thing he wanted was her in danger because of his affection, but he also couldn’t go without those little touches. Her thumb on his palm, the tentative leaning of her shoulder on his as they sat by the fire camp, the feel of her lips on his…

 _Okay, calm down, Cloud,_ he warned himself.

His ears burned, his brain pushing away thoughts of her naked. Their dates couldn’t always be about making love in shitty hotels.

The tavern was badly lit and smelled of sweat and smoke, but Tifa seemed to relax as she heard the booming of voices and laughs across the room. She had lived in the bustling of sector 7 for years. She had let patrons fill up 7th heaven for drinks, making a living as best as she could. This kind of world she knew well. Spotting a booth in a quieter corner, she exchanged a brief look with Cloud, the pair making their way across the small place. They sat across from one another, not even picking up the menu. Cloud was still getting a feel of the place and the crowd, while Tifa drummed her fingers mindlessly on the table, looking at the décor. It was old, but it reminded her of her last home so much. There was even an arcade machine in a corner.

“Is it bad if this is oddly nostalgic?” she couldn’t help asking.

Cloud shook his head at her.

“When all this is over, do you want to try and start another bar?”

Her smile grew brighter, her hands clapping once.

“I’d like that. There’d be an apartment above it or something similar, less cramped space, and I could have a room for you too,” she said, worrying her lower lip almost as soon as the words were out. “I mean… Not that you’d have to stay or…”

Cloud hunched forward, his smile fragile.

“I know you can kick anyone out, but you’re too kind with people. You might need a bouncer if your bar gets too popular?”

“Already looking for a job?” she teased him, finding it hard to fight off the butterflies bursting in her stomach.

Was Cloud thinking of the future? A future with them still together?

He was even more traumatized then she was by it, but it felt right to suggest so.

“You’re the best employer I’ve had so far,” he answered, his smile vanishing as the waitress came up to their booth.

They started out with a pitcher of beer and fries. Two pints in and they were falling into comfortable silence. Cloud wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say or if there was even anything he should say.

“I can’t help but wonder how you wanted that date in sector 7 to go.”

“Food and drink is what I had in mind. We weren’t quite extravagant when we hung out as kids, weren’t we?”

“Wouldn’t hurt to spoil you a bit.”

“You think I could convince you to get a change of clothes that is not that uniform?”

He blinked at that, taken aback.

“I… I got a jacket?”

“You had suggested I’d wear something exotic, just returning the suggestion to you,” she explained herself, her smile easing his nervous heart.

She’d seen him naked, but that had been once.

“I guess we can try and surprise each other on a second date. Though with all the camping we do…”

“It can be comfy clothes,” she agreed. “Do you have a plan in mind?”

“A chocobo ride and a picnic?”

He knew how cliched that sounded, but catching a chocobo wasn’t easy out here and the look in her eyes told him she liked that idea.

“Just the two of us?”

“Yeah, I’m not letting Barret on a chocobo,” he shot back, chuckling as she covered her giggles, shaking her head at him. “And I… I’d like more time with just you.”

It was so very hard to say anything deeper. She still blushed, looking down at her glass self-consciously.

“Hey…”

“I feel the same,” she whispered.

He inched forward, finding her knee under the table, soon feeling her hand catching his.

“Wanna be alone tonight?”

Her nod made his heart too soft for the noises inside the tavern. Too soft even for silence. They stepped out into the night, their shadows linking hands on the whole way back to their inn.

To be continued…


End file.
